A Defining Moment
by bev black
Summary: set after Season 3 Ep 4. After Gwaine leaves, Arthur's annoyed. Merlin thinks that Gwen is the only one who can sort him out.


Gwen looked behind her as she strolled though the busy street. She could still make out the tall man who was making his way down to the city gates. As she watched he raised a long arm in farewell to the guards and then disappeared from view. Gwen couldn't help but let out a long sigh. She just couldn't understand how such a fine man could be considered unworthy of joining Arthur's knights, just because of his birth. It seemed like such a waste...she shook her head in disbelief.

Of course, it didn't help that Gwaine's banishment brought back strong memories of Lancelot and the injustice served upon him also. Arthur had lost two strong and honourable men. It was just all wrong. Surely knights should earn their position through proving their worth and not their birth. Gwen had no doubt that both Gwaine and Lancelot would have conquered any test of knighthood.

She meandered her way into the market square, heading for the lady who sold the wonderful flowers. The lower town was alive with hustle and bustle today, the market was in full swing and it took Gwen longer than usual to pick her way through the busy street to make her purchases. It was a luxury, buying flowers, and certainly not something she did every week. But once in a while, they were the perfect treat and (although she would rather die than admit it to anyone) they reminded her of Arthur's rose over a year ago.

Gwen chose carefully and then wrapped the flowers in her shawl with a loaf of particularly delicious smelling bread , purchased from a neighbouring cart, before turning for home. Just up ahead of her at the corner of her street she could see that Merlin was loitering and headed over to find out what brought him to the lower town. As she got closer she could see he wore a mischievous expression which instantly put her on her guard.

"What are you after, Merlin?" she asked suspiciously.

"Oh, that's nice, that is. I only popped down to say 'hello' and you're looking at me like I might make off with that wonderful smelling loaf." He pouted, forcing a giggle out of Gwen.

"Sorry, Merlin, You just looked like you were up to mischief, and no, you're not having any of my bread!" She grabbed her shawl more tightly to her in mock horror. "So why exactly are you loitering at the end of my street? I find it hard to believe that Arthur has run out of jobs for you to do."

Merlin grimaced. He had been polishing armour for most of the day and his fingers were raw. "I don't know. I just fancied a chat really. Haven't had a good 'chat' in ages"

"A chat" Gwen looked disbelieving. When did Merlin ever have time for a chat? "Is something troubling you, Merlin?"

"I think I'm just feeling a bit frustrated about Gwaine. It seems like every time we find someone who's truly worthy of knighthood they get banished from the kingdom by Uther. We're losing good men. Gwaine saved Arthurs life, Gwen! I mean, what does a man have to do around here to earn a knighthood?"

" I was thinking that myself. The trouble with Uther is that he can't see beyond the rules he's built up around himself. They are his protection and he doesn't dare break them. Even when it's perfectly clear that they make no sense at all." Gwen had started off calmly enough but now her cheeks burned hot with indignation. "Gwaine was exactly the right type of man to become a knight. He was an amazing soldier, a man of honour!"

"So what you're saying, in short, is that he's the perfect knight. I mean, he had the looks to go with it too, didn't he. I heard the gossip among the servants." Merlin nudged her elbow and winked cheekily.

Gwen was definitely suspicious now. It seemed as though Merlin was fishing for information. "Well, I wouldn't deny that he was a very handsome man...Merlin, what are you trying to get me to say?"

Merlin spluttered a bit. "Really Gwen! I'm not... I'm just..." He trailed off under the wrathful gaze of the usually demure young woman who was now stood in her doorway, barring his entrance.

Gwen eyes flashed at Merlin. "Just tell me what's going on."

"Oh it's no good – I'm useless at this. Gwen, I'm just going to tell you why I'm here and you're not to lose your temper with me. I'm just the messenger."

"Go on."

"Its Arthur. We were on the battlements twenty minutes ago and we witnessed your affectionate farewell to Gwaine. You know," Merlin nudged her, "the kiss."

"WHAT!" Gwen exploded, "Come inside! I'm not discussing this on the street."

She bundled Merlin in the house and slammed the door behind him. Without really appearing to pause for breath she carried on.

" It was not that sort of kiss. It was merely a peck on the cheek for luck. Gwaine did try to charm me, but I never fell for him or his ways! He was far too practised in all sorts of flattery for me. He had quite obviously had a lady in every town. Wait a minute...did Arthur send you here?"

"Well," now Merlin looked a bit cadgey. "Not precisely. I think it's fair to say that he made it pretty clear that he wasn't happy with the kiss thing... and I decided to come down here for him and find out what was going on. So he didn't really send me - in fact, he doesn't know I'm here at all."

Gwen sat down in her chair with a sigh. "I should be cross, Merlin, but to be honest, I haven't got the energy. So you've come here to find out if there's anything romantic going on between Gwaine and I just because you and Arthur happened to see a perfectly innocent peck on the cheek."

"Yes." Merlin paused and then continued, "Sorry."

"If you must know, Gwaine found me out. When he left he had already worked out that I had feelings for Arthur because of a few comments I made in Arthur's defence. Looking back I suppose I did get a bit passionate. Gwaine must think I'm ridiculous. Nothing can ever come of Arthur and I while Uther is king. I'm a foolish girl who has been swept up in a fantasy that can never be. I cannot be Arthur's queen." Gwen's lower lip trembled slightly at this moment and a watery look appeared in her eyes. Merlin couldn't sit back any longer, but rushed forwards and, kneeling before her, enveloped her in a hug.

"Gwen, I can't promise you anything, but what you and I know is that Arthur is different. I know he can be annoying and bossy. He can sometimes be unthinking and we've just discovered that he can be jealous too, but he's a good man and you know it. He loves you, Gwen. That's the truth. I've seen the way he looks at you. He never has that look for anyone else. I told him once that I believed you would wait for him. Was I right?"

"Oh yes, Merlin. But it's just so hard. To have to pretend there's nothing there, day in and day out. No opportunities to talk or show any kind of affection. What sort of relationship is this?"

"It's a strange one alright!" joked Merlin, gaining a watery smile from Gwen again. "Come on, I've got an idea."

"Whaaat?" said Gwen reluctantly.

Merlin pulled her to her feet and, picking up a white cloth from the table, dabbed at the tears on her face. "I think we should go and find Arthur together. You two need to have this conversation together and not through me. I left him in his quarters earlier - come with me and we'll see if he's still there."

"What, right now? But I'm a mess and what on earth would I say?" Gwen began smoothing her dress frantically and then started tugging at some stray hairs that had somehow escaped from their neat bun.

"Don't worry about that! Honestly Gwen, I've got a good feeling about this."

Gwen groaned but allowed herself to be dragged to the door. Merlin shook the bread crumbs out of her shawl and placed it over her shoulders. She had to admit that part of her was very pleased at the notion that Arthur might have experienced some jealousy over Gwaine, but she remembered only too clearly the resulting trouble over Lancelot and felt that the sooner she could reassure Arthur of her feelings, the better for everyone.

Once outside the door, Merlin offered her an arm and said "Come on then, young lady. Walk with me, won't you!"

Gwen's face broke into a smile and she tucked her hand through his arm and they walked together up past the market to the citadel.

Within ten minutes they were climbing the stairs to the Prince's apartments in the North Tower. Gwen had walked this route on many occasions with chores to perform, but never on quite such a mission. She felt, somehow, that this interview with Arthur could really determine their futures. It could give her cause for real hope, or bring her whole fantasy world crashing down around her ears. A defining moment.

Once outside Arthur's door, Merlin pressed his ear to the door, listening intently for any sign that the Prince was still inside. Apparently he heard something that confirmed that Arthur had not left, for he turned his head to Gwen and said abruptly, "Well then, this is where I'll leave you to it." On that note he flashed her a smile, knocked loudly on Arthur's door and promptly disappeared behind a long curtain on the corridor window.

"Merlin!" hissed Gwen, looking frantically around at the shaking curtain. "Come back out here. You never said you were going to desert me. Merlin!"

The door opened as she said Merlin's name again, and Arthur looked curiously out into the passageway. He smiled when he took in his visitor, "Guinevere. It's good to see you. Er, who were you talking to?"

"Oh, no one my lord, well, just one of the servants, but he's gone now" fumbled Gwen.

Arthur smiled. Gwen was adorable when confused. It was one of the things he loved about her most. He stepped to one side and said "Come in!"

Gwen entered his chambers. As she passed him, Arthur cast a furtive glance into the passage, but could not see any sign of anyone else.

"So, what can I do to help you?" he said courteously, ever the Prince.

"Well, my lord, I was just talking to Merlin and it seemed as though there may have been some confusion about Gwaine and...well...my feelings for him." Gwen finished the sentence a bit lamely – it hadn't really quite come out as she had planned, but she always seemed to forget how to put a coherent sentence together when Arthur was around.

"Oh, _really_. And what did _Merlin_ say exactly?" Arthur was a bit nettled with the news that his servant had gone running down to Gwen.

"Not much really. Well, he did say that you both saw me kiss Gwaine on the cheek as he left this afternoon."

"Hmm. What else did he say?"

"Oh, Arthur, please don't get angry with him. I really think he was trying to help us. He told me that you didn't like me kissing Gwaine on the cheek at all. That's why I'm here, to set the matter straight before anyone gets the wrong idea about anything." The last bit came out in a bit of a rush and Gwen waited apprehensively for Arthur's reaction.

"And would that anyone you're referring to actually be me?" asked Arthur slowly.

Gwen's face was flaming hot now and she stared determinedly at her feet. "Yes." She whispered, bracing herself for his wrath.

There was a moment's silence, and in the end Gwen could bear it no longer and chanced a glance at his face. Instead of the royal indignation she expected to see, his face was showing great signs of amusement. Her worries left her immediately.

"If you must know, I wanted to make sure that you knew that I have no feelings in that way for Gwaine." Gwen's voice turned a bit saucy at this point, "True he is a very handsome man, and a strong and courageous warrior. I'm sure many women would fall for his charms!"

"But not you?" There was a very definite smirk forming on Arthurs face now.

"No."

Arthur exhaled strongly. "Guinevere. Come closer." He beckoned her closer to him and she moved a little nearer. He bent down and whispered in her ear. "Thank you"

She was surprised, "What for,my lord?"

"For caring enough about me to be honest with me. It means a lot." All the smirks and joking had been wiped off his face now. He took her hands in his and rubbed his thumbs over the back of them. Then before she could protest he had pulled her up very close and tenderly kissed her lips. Her hands snaked up around his neck and stroked his hair at the back. His arms pulled her tight to him so she could barely breathe, but she knew that this was where she belonged. It had such a feeling of rightness about it.

For a minute or two, nothing much was said, but eventually the two broke apart and gazed into each other's eyes. And then, to Gwen's great surprise, Arthur took just one of her hands, bowed low over it, pressing a kiss to the back and murmured "My lady."

Gwen could feel hot tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She couldn't take her eyes of his golden head bent over her hand. As he stood and looked at her again, he smiled and tenderly wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. "My Gwen, my lady, I'm so sorry I made you cry."

"Don't say sorry, Arthur. That was the most special thing you could ever say to me. I've been so worried about not being a lady by birth, but what matters most is that you see me as a lady. I no longer care about everyone else."

"Gwen, I'll admit, when I saw you kiss Gwaine, I experienced a reaction similar to the one I suffered when I saw you with Lancelot. But this afternoon I realised that there was a difference. I realised that I wasn't jealous of _your_ feelings for _him_. I was jealous of _him _– that he could accept your kiss so openly and without any thought for secrecy. I have had enough of denying myself your company because of your birth. Gwen, I love you and as I've said before, I've never felt this way about another. My father parades beautiful eligible ladies in front of me and yet not one of them has your charm or beauty. None compare with you."

"Oh, Arthur." Gwen was momentarily lost for words.

"In fact," carried on the Prince, as if recklessly determined to seize the day, "there's something I want to ask you. But you must hear me out, all the way to the end. OK?"

"OK" said Gwen, slowly. She had no idea where the conversation was going.

"Guinevere, I know that things are very complicated for us and that this many need to be something that for the time being stays as an understanding just between us but..," he regained possession of her hands at this point, "can I ask you to wait for me? Merlin once told me that you would wait for me if you felt the same way as I did, but at the time I didn't believe him. I know that I can't even guess how soon, but I can promise that one day I will declare my love for you in front of the whole kingdom. I consider myself heart and honour bound to you in every way."

"But...Arthur... your father?" stammered Gwen.

"Forget him, forget everything and just think about us! Please?"

"Oh, Arthur, yes.. yes!" Gwen drew him back up to standing and flung her arms around his neck.

"Wait, wait a moment. I've got something for you." He lead her over to his cabinet and, opening a drawer, drew out a fine golden ring, resembling two ropes intricately twined together. "This was my mother's and has been in my possession for years. I know that you might not want to wear it for fear of questions but if I got you a chain, would you wear it around your neck?"

"It's so beautiful" Gwen was mesmerised by the ring – she turned it over in her palm as the enormity of what had just happened sank in. He loved her just as much as she loved him. In that way, at least, it would be a partnership of equals. Right now she was happy to trust that, one day, they would find a way to be together. She couldn't ask him for anything more. This ring was a symbol of their willingness to wait for each other until that day came. She gently pushed it onto her finger and it fitted beautifully.

"So that'll be no more kissing other knights or any other handsome men, then" Arthur teased.

Gwen hit him gently on the arm. Then she looked at him very seriously and said "How could I look at another when you are in my mind and heart all day?"

"_All _day?"

"Well, except for those moments when I'm flirting with dangerously handsome potential knights" she giggled.

"Guinevere!" growled Arthur. He caught her deftly round the waist, and she had no idea how she ended up sitting on his lap on the loveseat by the fire.

A little while later, Gwen remembered Merlin.

"My lord, should we put Merlin out of his misery and let him know that we have spoken? He is partly responsible for all of this!"

"Merlin! I'm not sure I've entirely forgiven him for telling you how jealous I was. He's supposed to keep my secrets and not blabber them all around. No, I think we might spin this one out a bit longer and keep him guessing."

"Arthur! That's just mean. Merlin works so hard for you, and if he hadn't met me in the market today, I would never have had the nerve to come up here at all. You should be thanking him!" Gwen tried very hard to look stern, but failed utterly.

"You could convince me to change my mind..."

"How..."

"Well... I can think of a few ways...!"


End file.
